Marriage and the Bible - Part 45 - Women's Equality in Marriage

Probably the most significant thing that Jesus and the Apostles do to the understanding of marriage is they very much elevate the status of women in it.  The fact is that one Jesus starts talking about divorce in Matthew 19 and other places the fact is seen that the bride is not to be treated with contempt but respect.  Paul's Jesus/Church equals Bride/Groom also puts woman at a far higher level that much of the Old Testament does.  By restoring the idea of spiritual covenant, Jesus and the other apostles actually put women back at equal levels with their husbands in most cases.  

This has an impact on how men are to treat their wives.  Namely looking at one's wife like Adam first looked at Eve.  Not as some thing attached to my life to help my ego, but as a fellow traveller on the road of life and bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh - part of himself.  It means to love her no matter what.  I know this can be frustrating at times but you have a good counselor.  Jesus I am sure relates to husbands with difficult wives seeing His wife is the church and she can be difficult at times.

It also impacts how women should view themselves in there marriage.  Viewing themselves as responsible to be images of what the church should be toward Christ is a great responsibility and equal to that of their husbands.  In many ways this idea puts women on equal footing in ever area except one and it is the most significant - authority.

The one thing that neither Jesus nor the apostles change is the issue of authority in a marriage.  Man is still the head of woman.  Paul's explanation of this in First Timothy chapter 2 is basically that woman was created for the man, not the other way around.  Man ultimately was created to fulfil God's purpose and woman is there to help man achieve that purpose.  Men thus have the final say in what happens.  That being said, the one thing that is also clear is that submission cannot be forced.  A woman must willfully and freely choose to be under her husbands authority.  For a husband to force his authority on his wife would be an act without love.  At the same time, for a woman not to submit to her husband would be a sin both against her husband and God.  The choice is however the wife's to make, just like it is a choice for a husband to be under the authority of God and love his wife.

Next: Modern Challenges: Open Marriage
Previous: How Spiritual Covenants Fail and Cultural Contracts Break  

Marriage and the Bible - Part 34 - Paul's Image of Christ and His Bride

As we switch to Paul one thing seems to stand above everything else in Paul's understanding of marriage. That being that ultimately marriage is supposed to be a reflection of some thing higher: Christ and His Church. The best place to see this is Ephesians 5:22-33 as not only is the imagery of Christ and his bride used it is practically applied to the marriage between a man and woman in this world.

Paul's presents marriage as something that is supposed to be a witness of what the relationship between Christ and his bride is. In other words, the way we live our married lives as Christians is supposed to be a reflection of the relationship that is also supposed to exist in Christ's marriage to his bride the church.

Christ is the groom and in ancient eastern societies that meant the center of attention. In our culture, the bride is the center of attention but not in the east, the groom takes center stage. In addition, husbands are reminded to act like Christ does toward his bride. Love being the centerpiece word. Self sacrificing for her, cherishing her, to love his wife like himself as his own body. Christ is to be reflected by the man in marriage.

The Church is the Bride and in eastern societies the issue for women was humbleness before their husband and that leads to a couple words: respect and obedience. Now it must be noted that neither of these things can be forced on a woman, she must choose to do them for her to fulfill this. So a man thumping his chest and telling his wife to obey is a waste and violates the image of Christ a man is supposed to uphold. The real issue for women is that they are to act toward their husbands the way the church is supposed to act toward Christ. The church is supposed to respect and obey Christ. Both are choices a woman must make based on how committed she is to her marriage, husband and ultimately Christ.

Colossians 3:18-19 hits the same practical advice but without the detailed imagery and it is shorter and to the point.

Now, this does have some impact of the issue of marriage and it is not small. In a very real way Paul is basing this on Jesus' one flesh teaching and that means the idea of Jesus leaving his bride or the bride leaving Christ does not compute with Paul although we will see later he does have some views on divorce that seem to contradict Jesus.

Some have stated that this puts an end to polygamy. Not really, 1) it does not directly say that and 2) if Jesus has other peoples on other worlds that he has redeemed or vindicated, would those peoples be other brides or all part of the same one? Sorry, at that point we can only speculate. We need to also remember this is analogy and all analogies break down at some point or another including ones from the Bible.

Next: Paul on Divorce and Polygamy

Bible Bull – “Dead in Sin"

Ok, I know what you are thinking – how could I say this is ‘bull’. Well word search time on BibleGateway.com. Perform a Bible search for ‘dead in sin’ – the exact phrase. Search any version you like and you know what you find. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Now maybe like the concept of the Trinity. The word is not actually used but the idea is there if you look at a couple of Scriptures and do the math. Ok, new search –dead, sin – match all words. Now I used five versions, KJV, NIV, NASB, NLT and ESV. I got 10 hits, but I had to eliminate Number 6:11 and 1 Samuel 25:39 because this is the dead body thing or someone died because of their sin against God. I also had to remove Romans 6:1, 2, 11 and 1 Peter 2:24 because it is about a believer being ‘dead to sin’. Romans 6:7 and 13 are dismissed as well because it is the same context as the others about ‘dead TO sin’. That leaves only two verses that might say something directly Romans 7:8 and 8:10.

Romans 7:8, in context, is talking about how death came to Paul through the commandment. When he realized he had broken the law he died. That of course brings up a question: How is it possible for one to die through sinning (committing acts of sin) if one is already dead in a state of sin? In any case, it is not really helpful in proving that we are dead in a state of sin because that is not the point of the passage.

Romans 8:10 doesn’t help either. It talks about our bodies being dead because of sin but our spirits being alive through Christ. It is in context about the new life a believer has in Christ and because of this it does not help the discussion about ‘are we ‘dead IN sin’ before salvation.

This leaves us in a quandary. Well, one more search ‘died, sin’. 5 hits and once again once we eliminate Numbers 27:3 and all the ones from Romans 6 we are left with Romans 7:9. This unfortunately has the same context as Romans 7:8 – gone.

Only one verse in the whole Bible comes close to saying ‘dead in sin’ – Ephesians 2:1-2:

“1And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.”

Now here is the problem. This does not say we are dead in a pre-existent state of sin, but through actions of ‘trespasses’ and ‘sins’ were are dead or better the idea is we were killed. Verse 2 also gives us a cause. No it is not flesh or sinful nature – but the prince and power of the air and the world system through the sons of disobedience. In is not a state we are born in – we are taught it.

I have to painfully conclude that the idea that we are ‘dead in sin’ is Bible Bull – it isn’t there. That leaves a very painful possibility that all of us in some way face our own Garden of Eden like experience with commandment – and we all fail. The why is the same reason that Adam and Eve failed in that same garden: ignorance and arrogance. The fact is that our parents didn’t make us do it. Oh they have been the devil’s henchmen in presenting the temptation, but it is we that made the choice to sin willfully against God. It is not: ‘I couldn’t help it I am a born sinner’ it is “I was presented with an option and I willfully took the one that made me an enemy of God.” Ignorance of the consequences and/or arrogance that they would not affect us is why we sin- not a preexistent state.

It is interesting however how much people defend this idea to the bitter end but then turn around and say the Christian is still a sinner despite at least four verses if not a whole chapter (Romans 6) that directly say the opposite in straight shooter language too. Why is it the ‘dead in sin’ is hailed as absolute truth, with no direct Biblical support and no indirect support either, but the concept of ‘dead to sin’ is debated when it has several verses that directly say so? Because our flesh (our earthly nature) likes the one doctrine and not the other, that’s why. It is simply the fact that carnal Christianity has done a bang up job at justifying sin inside the pure and spotless bride known as the church. But more on that subject for another day’s writing.

‘Dead in Sin’ –Sorry that’s Bible Bull.