Ever have one of those reflective moments and ask yourself what exactly are you? I wrote about being a Pentecostal a long time ago in my "Why I Am a..." Series. Even then I was having trouble holding on to it and it is not just because I had bad experiences with my former denomination the Assemblies of God. Now I am even less sure about it.
I still believe God does stuff, but I do not believe God does fluff.
1. God still heals, but I am pretty sure he does not need a person to jump and shout and scream to do so.
2. I believe tongues and prophecy are still valid today, but I think the doctrine of the initial physical evidence and everything that goes with it is unnecessary rot.
3. I feel that God can make people do odd things, but sometimes I wonder about the legit nature of some I have seen such as being slain in the Spirit or holy laughter. It seems that these have no real purpose other than to demonstrate why some people should have power over others, especially when they push people over.
Don't get me wrong, God is not boxed up for me, but I have never really actually seen people just waiting for God and, without any coaching, God causing things to happen. What I have seen is suggestive psychological planting and emotional release. As one preacher put it -- "I prime the pump of people's faith". Right and then we give our tithe to the 'pump primer' I see.
I just find it interesting that when it comes to Pentecostals, they are far more emotional in nature than they are cerebral about their faith. I don't think this illegitimate, just one dimensional. It was why me and people like me felt out of place. It was OK to love God with heart, but not with mind.
I also find it interesting that when it comes to gross sin and sin justified, anybody seem to be able to say -- "The Spirit told me it was OK." Really, the HOLY Spirit told you it was OK to sin?
I guess I am trying to find what true Pentecostalism is and maybe there is no such animal. I do like the attitude of believers on the Day of Pentecost in Acts 2:
1. Waiting on God promise (for ten days no less)
2. Praying
3. In one accord
4. In one place
There is church I would love to be a part of. One that would, because of Pentecost, become in awe of God and unified like no church has been since. At least none that I am aware of anyway. Perhaps I simply am not ready myself to be a part of such a thing, I simply may not have the maturity of faith yet, or maybe I simply do not understand (which is quite likely) what it takes yet. It is very likely more deep than heart or mind. Deeper that I can spiritually fathom right now.
Jury still out, but I feel farther from what I knew as Pentecostalism than ever, Real Pentecostalism I am beginning to see may be deeper than that.
I guess I am trying to find is real spiritual power. The power to give faith to others; faith that moves mountains. Stuff, not fluff.
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Do you think that the experience of "Pentecostalism" is a journey or a destination? I may not be correct, but I kinda think it is a journey. I am not sure that it is an event as much as it is an evolution that begins even before an event.
ReplyDeletePastor Ed, thanks for this article, it surely sums up a lot of my feelings and thoughts lately. I am constantly over-thinking things like this. Essentially my walk isn't about any of the outward things that you have mentioned, to me they can become stumbling blocks. Rather than focus on evidence in the physical sense, I rely on God. He doesn't need me rolling around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably, screaming at the top of my lungs making no sense to anyone around me. I don't do any of those things in the privacy of my own home. I pray in church, I sing in church, I read my bible in church, I seek God, and to further my relationship with Him. I do all of these things at home as well as in church. I think the next time I go to a friends house and see him falling out, screaming an unknown tongue, or laughing uncontrollably, would be the first time.
ReplyDeleteI am after the genuine, not the trumped up, primed up, over acted, or dramatized church experience.
KC - you may be right. I guess I have gotten to the point in the journey where what road I am standing on matters a lot. Pentecostalism after all has a lot of paths.
ReplyDeleteTracy - Good points, You and I are definitely on the same page here.
Looks like you're going to have to become Baptist. Of course.
ReplyDeletePaula,
ReplyDeleteLOL. No I don't think so. I would rather have the safety of being non-denominational. Less arrows are fired. ;-)